A Fragile Heart

It’s past midnight, and I can’t seem to find sleep lurking around me. My whole essence does not seem to make sense anymore. I feel like my life support has been plugged out.

So, this is me writing you a letter. This is everything I didn’t say.

Dear You,

You stopped saying goodnight, and I stopped sleeping. I remember staying up this late just for you — 3.54 a.m. I still remember the feeling I had when I first started talking to you. I can’t believe we went through all that to be strangers again. I want to go back to a time before it was too late. When you first told me your name. But I tried, didn’t I? At least I did that. Maybe I deserve someone else, but it’s you — I’ve always wanted you. I guess it’s about time I forgot about you. But how do you say goodbye when your heart still wants to hold on?

“Dear heart, why him?” I asked. Why am I afraid to lose you when you are not even mine? How do you tell someone that you’re sad because you love them? I messed up by getting attached to you, I almost wish we had never met. Your name hurts.

I wonder if the sun will ever shine again and if I’ll ever see your face again. You’re still my person, even if I’m not yours. I like to think that our story isn’t over yet and that someday, when we’re ready, we’ll meet again in another world, another body, another time, another life, and finally get it right.

“Do you still think of him?” “Everyday”. His voice… Please, don’t let me forget his voice.

We almost made it. We should have…